... and he told me how he felt.
What could I do? Do I take him seriously, or do I sit at the edge of the bed, bawling my eyes out like there is no tomorrow? I wish love didn't have to be so ridiculous. I wish that I was more seasoned, more experienced, with it. But alas, we all have to face it at some point or another.. We just aren't built to be heartbroken. Or are we? Am I just a fragile soul? That must be the case. Either way, I have jumped in the water, and I am just too deep for my own good. Maybe if I cared, I could swim back up to the surface, but for now, I just want to drown out all my fears and worries. There is so much to live for, so why do I dwell on this one matter? The answer is easy. I am too starstruck, mesmerized, and captivated by him. He isn't the prettiest flower in the bunch, but he stands out, like the only rose in a dozen living with the rest wilted. He is the only one that understood me, and I can't risk giving my heart to another boy, for the sake of losing them too. I got over him for a while. It may not have been very long, but it was a good while for me. I try to get over him from time to time, but I end up sulking and crying myself to sleep. He truly had my heart, and he will never understand. He's not me. If he could spend a day in the life of me, he would see what I see through my eyes. I can't trust guys. The ghosts of my past haunt me, and I refuse to let someone love me, but I let him in, because I thought he would understand. But instead, he flew away. My sweet canary, must you go? I shall always miss you, and I will never surrender my heart to another like I did to you.
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