Woe Is My Heart That Beats Unevenly

... and he told me how he felt.

What could I do? Do I take him seriously, or do I sit at the edge of the bed, bawling my eyes out like there is no tomorrow? I wish love didn't have to be so ridiculous. I wish that I was more seasoned, more experienced, with it. But alas, we all have to face it at some point or another.. We just aren't built to be heartbroken. Or are we? Am I just a fragile soul? That must be the case. Either way, I have jumped in the water, and I am just too deep for my own good. Maybe if I cared, I could swim back up to the surface, but for now, I just want to drown out all my fears and worries. There is so much to live for, so why do I dwell on this one matter? The answer is easy. I am too starstruck, mesmerized, and captivated by him. He isn't the prettiest flower in the bunch, but he stands out, like the only rose in a dozen living with the rest wilted. He is the only one that understood me, and I can't risk giving my heart to another boy, for the sake of losing them too. I got over him for a while. It may not have been very long, but it was a good while for me. I try to get over him from time to time, but I end up sulking and crying myself to sleep. He truly had my heart, and he will never understand. He's not me. If he could spend a day in the life of me, he would see what I see through my eyes. I can't trust guys. The ghosts of my past haunt me, and I refuse to let someone love me, but I let him in, because I thought he would understand. But instead, he flew away. My sweet canary, must you go? I shall always miss you, and I will never surrender my heart to another like I did to you.

Seniority, Senioritis, Senio12.

Ah, the intoxicating feeling of being a senior in high school. It's a feeling we all were waiting for, but now it's a feeling of remorse. (Well, if you're me.) I could've done so much more with my life in school. But I have all the right friends in all the right places. What do I have to worry about anymore?

Summer!

Yes, folks, it's that time of the year again. The time when children are let out of school to relax for a couple of months. Teenagers, to fall in and out of senseless love. Adults, to care for their kids firsthand, assuming they don't have a full-time job that requires them on site all the time. Really, we don't even need a summer. Children lose a bit of intelligence, become lazier, and they have needs all of the time. Teenagers. Let's face it. We don't stand a chance with summer. After school, we lay around for a few days. Then, when it sets in, workouts, practices, jobs. Even when you're not doing any of those things you're either lying around at home or falling in love with someone. (Who, by the way, may not care by the end of the summer.) Adults have it the worst of all, in my opinion. But anyway, summer. It's only halfway over. I'm ready for school again.